Witton,Woodley Yer What?


an incompatibility between two propositions that cannot both be true

I don’t like Witton Albion.This wasn’t always the case, it has something that has emerged in the past two or three years.There is something distinctly  Hyacinth Bucket about Witton’s Witton’s “>attitiude to clubs like Cables.This was first evident when Witton, riding high ten points clear at the top of the league, came to Cables in March 2008.The massed Witton fans came to Hope Street for a party, and promptly left spitting venom after a plucky Cables turned them over.The pitch was rubbish, Cables were rubbish and they wouldn’t miss playing us again the following year after they had gained promoted.Naturally enough they bottled the title run in losing out to Fleetwood on the last day of the season. This view of Witton was reinforced during our visit their in 2009.When humourless, over zealous stewards combined with off-handish staff and the expectation of turning Cables over (just a pub team don’t you know?) was noted by several Cables fans on the day.The nadir came when a steward removed a Celebrations chocolates tin that was being used as a drum by some younger Cables fans.You never know when a riot is going to break out.The steward displayed his trophy to all and sundry while escorting it to the security room, where it remained until it sobered up no doubt.Witton at the time were scrapping for their Unibond League survival, Cables were already relegated.But the Cables fans sang and shouted as if the title was on the line and encouraged the side to hold out for a 0-0 draw.In two seasons Cables had cost Witton the title and ensured they failed to get enough points to stay up.Result!

So Cables plukcking Witton out of the hat in the Presidents Cup gave us a chance to renew old friendships.Thier fans still got on my bloody nerves with their demands for Cables players to be sent off left right and centre, but Cables played well, probably as smooth as they’ve played all year.Only some Mickey Mouse defending allowing Witton to secure a 2-1 win.What the heck, it’s only the Presidents’ Cup and Witton are in the Unibond League One South.Just rejoice in that fact.


For those that were there the game at Woodley in September probably counts as one of the most disappointing of all footballing memories.Cables down to ten men go a goal up and look set for one of those ‘we’ll fight them on the beaches’ backs-to-the-wall type wins that will be talked about for years to come.Instead sloppy defending allows a poor Woodley side to claim their first league win of the season.It was a quiet, long drive home.

After the Witton performance hopes are high that Cables might nick a win in the return fixture against Woodley.But, as we’ve learned, Cables are good at turning corners and walking straight into a brick wall. The smooth passing of Tuesday had been replaced by a sort of  frantic,desperate pinball.In fact, it was almost like Cables at their worst last season.And it doesn’t get much worse than that.I’d rather have someone pluck out my eyeballs and use them for golf practice. Cables manage to grind out a 1-1 draw, poor result, poor performance.Given Cables’ rollercoaster season Chorley had better watch out next week.

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