Daily Archives: October 2, 2008

Belper Lad meets Leigh Lass


“Male colognes? What’s wrong with Swarfega, WD-40 and hot steam on oily brass? “

“Ah, Swarfega. glutinous, green, sensual, lubricious. Shiny and inviting, translucent and virginal in the tin, grab a handful with greasy, black-as-lucifer’s-heart hands, fresh from delving into the nether regions of some primeval mechanical device. Work the cool emerald nugget of glop between one’s fingers, savouring its slightly medicinal scent as it mixes with the dirt and corruption, seeing its verdant heart shot through with swirling black tendrils of dirt, like the marble cladding on the walls of Satan’s bathroom. Marvelling at its magical, nay, cabalistic ability to slough off the sticky filth, leaving hands and forearms pink and shiny where once was only impenetrable blackness…..”

Swarfega - invented in Belper, used extensively in Leigh!

Swarfega - invented in Belper, used extensively in Leigh!

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